AMSP

I hate being left out.

Oh man, first day back and I’m sitting in awkward seats… I have friends in these classes; people who I was hoping to be with for the semester but I guess I either lucked out or I’m just not “wanted” enough to be saved a spot beside them.

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Don’t make me host something when you end up flopping it in mere minutes.

Vulnerable.

aceondeck:

I hate getting close to people, because there’s always that lingering feeling that I’m open to some kinda pain because they hold a piece of me. I hate not being in control, I hate knowing someone else plays a part in what I feel.

(Source: embrace-)

The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don’t give a fuck at all.

(Source: jaypascua, via brianfrigillana)

I get really attached to people really easy sometimes…

Usually after a few months, I get discarded like a nobody. Truthfully, it hurts… but I’m so used to it that I accept it and move on; no matter how much I hate losing them. 

I hate when i get that one text where i’m just like how the fuck do i reply to this?

samboob:

(via lovesheabutta)

Eh, I really hate this right now. I fell for it, I got back on my feet and now I’m down again and slightly disappointed. They says it’s his lost, but dang… it feels like I lost. Not only did he expose my weakness (that I never knew I had), but it was kinda a first for me to feel something like that. It felt great, I haven’t felt so light and happy sort of; but now knowing it was all just a trick, an illusion… it feels terrible. I’m always fucked over by all these emotions. It’s a weakness I can’t help but fall for. It’s terrible, I feel terrible… I just want to lie down all day and keep my mind off these things.

Weakness

I’ve been feeling empty recently. I don’t know. The things that have been happening between the month of December 2010 and January 2011. I feel so frustrated and used. There’s another part of me where I feel like I exposed my weakness too much and that I can’t face up to the world anymore. I don’t like these feelings. These feelings of where hope is lost, that I can’t prove them wrong, where these negative thoughts invade my mind. There’s this heavy feeling I have and I don’t feel like moving or do anything at all. I feel so disappointed in myself. I fell for it, I lost so many things, I said so many things and now I’m uncomfortable with the world around me.

It seems ridiculous but I don’t feel like myself anymore. My carefree character who looks happy everyday no matter the problem and challenges that arises. I feel tired, heavy, and weak all of a sudden. Not only am I physically worn out but emotionally as well. I feel like I haven’t laugh like I used to. My laugh now is weak and meaningless, when it used to strengthen me and keep me motivated. 

Argh, I don’t know. Little things things are starting to bug me. I guess I’m stressed out, or maybe it’s just things are happening and I can’t do anything about it. I don’t know. I can’t explain this feeling. I’ll just end this post here.